Ah, Valentine’s Day – the day of the year when love birds flutter their wings, Cupid’s pink and red arrows fly amok, and florists become overnight millionaires (probably even billionaires with the shocking price of flower bouquets now).

It’s a day filled with roses, chocolates, lots of money sending and receiving, and grand romantic gestures, all in the name of celebrating that elusive thing we call love.

But beneath the surface of heart-shaped chocolates, bouquets that melt hearts and cheesy greeting cards lies a complex weave of emotions, expectations, and societal pressures.
As weird and, if you have an unusual sense of humor, humorous as it may sound, the Valentine’s period comes with a lot of… shockers, to say the least.

“Relationship people”, the newly coined and comically drab term for couples, as seen on the streets of social media, have some rather funny ways to better contain the financial excesses of the day.

So let’s dive headfirst into this whirlwind of romance and explore what Valentine’s Day truly means in the modern world.

Prologue: So How Did All This Even Start?

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (probably ancient Rome), there lived a man named Valentine. Now, Valentine wasn’t your average Joe. He wasn’t a knight in shining armor or a dashing prince charming. No, Valentine was a priest. But not just any priest – he was the OG matchmaker, the patron saint of love, and the original wingman.

Legend has it that Emperor Claudius II, a grumpy old fellow who had a strong distaste for love and marriage, decided to ban marriages because, well, he was a grumpy old fellow. But fear not, for our hero Valentine, armed with nothing but his charm and a fistful of roses, defied the emperor’s decree and continued to secretly marry couples in the name of love.

But alas, all good things must come to an end, and Valentine’s days of matchmaking came crashing down when Emperor Claudius II discovered his secret wedding operation. Off with his head, cried the emperor (probably), and our dear Valentine met his untimely demise.

But fear not, for even in death, Valentine’s spirit of love and romance lived on. His martyrdom inspired the creation of Valentine’s Day, a day dedicated to celebrating love, romance, and all things mushy-gushy. And thus, February 14th became the most romantic day of the year, filled with heart-shaped chocolates, cheesy greeting cards, and more roses than you can shake a stick at.

Scene 1: Setting Stage For Love
Picture this: it’s February 13, and you’re strolling through a supermarket, innocently searching for a bag of chips to accompany your Netflix binge. But wait – what’s this? A sea of red and pink, heart-shaped balloons, and aisles overflowing with teddy bears larger than life itself.

Congratulations, my friend, you’ve just stumbled into the battlefield known as Valentine’s Day prep. Suddenly, your mundane shopping trip turns into a quest for the perfect gift, lest you face the wrath of your significant other’s disappointment.

But fear not, for amid the chaos of heart-shaped confetti, there lies an opportunity for hilarity. Who hasn’t witnessed the panicked expressions of last-minute shoppers, desperately grabbing anything remotely heart-shaped in a desperate bid to salvage their relationship?

From oversized teddy bears to heart-printed underwear (yes, that’s a thing), the possibilities are endless. So grab your popcorn and enjoy the show, because nothing says ‘I love you’ like a giant plush unicorn holding a heart that says ‘Be Mine’. Well actually, a lot of things do… but you get the point.

Scene 2: Love In Digital Age – From Heart Emojis To Relationship Status Updates
In the age of social media, love knows no bounds – or boundaries, for that matter. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we can now express our undying affection with a simple click of a button. Forget handwritten love letters or serenades under the moonlight; today, it’s all about heart emojis and relationship status updates.

But let’s not overlook the comedic potential of online romance. Who hasn’t chuckled at the cringe-worthy couple selfies or the overly sentimental love declarations that flood our newsfeeds come February 14? And let’s not forget the dreaded ‘Facebook official’ status update, where your entire social circle eagerly awaits confirmation that yes, you are indeed in a relationship (cue the collective eye rolls).

But amid the sea of digital love confessions, there’s a nugget of truth that rings louder than any Instagram filter: love transcends pixels and hashtags.

So whether you’re declaring your love from the rooftops or sliding into someone’s DMs, just remember – it’s the thought that counts. And maybe lay off the heart emojis for a while.

Scene 3: Wait A Minute, We’re Still In Nigeria

No, there’s going to be no apology about my introduction to this scene. Because in all honesty, is a Nigerian who hasn’t accepted that we as a people are different in everything including tastes and preferences even Nigerian at all?

While a teddy bear and a handwritten note would probably be something your girlfriend would dote over you for in other places, it really might not cut it for you here. Gift finding, or gift making if you’re willing to take things up a notch, is a rather delicate art here more than anywhere else.

Attentiveness as a partner is needed, a direly needed skill, for the survival of any Valentine’s Day celebration. It’s your perfect chance to gift to your partner that one thing they’ve expressed desire for subtly in numerous conversations prior.

And let’s not even get started on the gripping self-stigma that falls on you in abundance at the realization that you got your partner a gift that doesn’t make them happy.

This, and perhaps, simply just money issues are the reasons why couples would fight and not even break up a few days to Valentine’s Day just to get back after the 14th. I hope I’ve not cast the latest update to avoid “billing”
So, please. Listen, feel for, and be attentive to your partner. Understand what makes them happy. What makes them thick. What would get them to respect you even more. Because, and permit me to speak some vernacular here, ‘Dem no dey tell pesin.’

Scene 4: Love, Actually? Navigating Minefield Of Modern Romance
Ah, modern romance – a minefield of mixed signals, ghosting, and Tinder swipes. In a world where commitment is as elusive as a unicorn riding a rainbow, how does one navigate the treacherous waters of love? It’s a question as old as time itself, yet somehow, we still find ourselves fumbling in the dark, hoping to stumble upon our happily ever after.

But fear not, dear reader, for amid the chaos of modern dating lies a treasure trove of comedic gold. From disastrous first dates to awkward encounters with exes, the journey to finding true love is paved with plenty of laughs – and maybe a few tears along the way.

So embrace the absurdity of it all, because let’s face it – love is messy, complicated, and downright hilarious.

Love’s Symphony – Finding Harmony In Chaos
As we bid adieu to another Valentine’s Day extravaganza, let us pause for a moment of reflection. In a world filled with heart-shaped chocolates and grand romantic gestures, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Love isn’t about extravagant gifts or picture-perfect moments; it’s about the messy, imperfect journey we take with the ones we hold dear.

So, whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with your significant other, your friends, or even your cat (because let’s be real, who needs a partner when you have a furry feline companion), remember that love comes in many forms. It’s the small moments, the inside jokes, and the shared experiences that truly define the essence of love.

Epilogue: It Is Still… And Will Always Just Be About Love!
That’s pretty much it, folks – the history, and pretty much everything else about Valentine’s Day in a nutshell. So whether you’re celebrating with your significant other, your friends, or even your pet goldfish (because why not?), remember to tip your hat to good ol’ Saint Valentine, the original love guru.

And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, his spirit of love and matchmaking will sprinkle a little magic dust on your love life this Valentine’s Day. Or, you know, you could just binge-watch rom-coms and eat an entire tub of ice cream.

And so, dear reader, as we bid adieu to another Valentine’s Day extravaganza, let us raise a glass to love in all its messy, chaotic glory.

For amid the chaos of heart-shaped confetti and cheesy love songs, there lies a symphony of laughter, tears, and everything in between. So here’s to love – may it always be as hilarious as it is heartfelt.

Either way, happy Valentine’s Day! Cheers to Love’s Symphony, and may your heartstrings forever be in tune.